My Heavy Heart...

It is with a very heavy heart that I'm writing this post tonight. We have lost our sweet Max, who went to doggy heaven yesterday at 5:15pm. 

Yesterday went into a major seizure, and started convulsing. He ran into our room, crashed into a wall, I picked him up put him on the bed, and he ran off the other end onto the floor. I went to pick him up and he bit me, something he would NEVER do. I got a towel for my finger and the I notice he had lost control of his bowels, and was unable to use his back legs. I knew that he was dying. I got Joni our neighbor, who got max up and into her car. She and I took him to the hospital, and the writing was on the wall, as to what I had to do.

Joe was away at a day long art camp and I was unable to reach him. I felt guilty that Joe would not be able to say goodbye, but having Max suffer any longer was out of the question. I stayed with Max, cried my eyes out, kissed him, told him to look for his Grandpa's to play with, and that I would see him again one day. I made sure he knew just how much he was loved, and how he had been the best dog we could have ever asked for. I held his sweet face in my hands until it was all over. I'm 47, and have never had to put a dog down before. It truly was the hardest thing to do, but I knew it was time, as he was 17 years old, deaf, partally blind, and had terrible arthritis in his back legs. Thank God, Joni was there with me. She has known Max since we got him, and she loved him so much. She's a dog lover with several dogs too. She cried her eyes out right along side of me. Thank you Joni!

I had two friends who sent me the poem, The Rainbow Bridge. I had never read it and I loved what it said. How do you get past something like this? I feel like I never want to smile again, and the house feels quiet and empty. I still have Milo & Kelly....but Max was the first, original, and best friend Joe I could ever have. I know that you are young again, out of pain, that you can see and hear again, and that you are just as loved up there as you were down here! Play away, baby!!

 

Max...we will see you again, when we cross that rainbow bridge!                We LOVE you more than words can ever say.

 

                                                                                               - Love, Papa.

 

 

Comments

[Carol Gossett]

I'm so, so sorry, Paul. We had to put down our beloved rottweiler Kody earlier this year, and I sympathize with your pain. Know that Max knew he was loved, and let the memories of all the good times bring you comfort. XOXO

[Laurel]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Paul. Words are not enough.

[Laure Janus]

So sorry to hear about losing your beautiful Max. I'm sending prayers and strength your way. Bless you and Joe and all who loved Max. From the arms of love, to the arms of love, love will see us through...

[Susie LaFond]

tender, loving thoughts coming your way in abundance for both you and Joe..I have no words of wisdom, all I have is my heart in the right place for you and can say I understand, I went through this last Jan, a few days after New Year, with Jazz it was kidney failure, sudden and awful. Having to put her down was the right thing for her, the only thing, but for me, my heart still has not fully healed, I miss her each and every day, the pain still fresh, I read your post and the tears came again, for Max, for my Jazzy girl, my heart is big and wide when it comes to animals, I think of her everyday, I have opened my heart to a new rescue dog, named Fibi, I love her but I also know she isn't Jazz, Jazz was our only dog and after a week, I could no longer stand the silence, I need 4 paws in our home, it was the only thing that got me past the pain (let your hurt lean on Milo and KellY, pets know) I still miss my sweet Jazz, she was my true and real BFF, no dog has ever touched me the way she did, a puppy mill rescue that went from a dog scared and frightened of everything to a dog who loved, was happy, and was such a tender, gentle dog, she was my girl, The hurt will linger Paul, it's no easier than when a loved person leaves us, in some ways it's harder, but he is in heaven and will always, always be alive in your heart. Hugs across the miles.

[Jana]

i cried reading this post, and can sympathize and empathize with what you are going through. bless Max's sweet heart, and bless you for swiftly ending his misery with love, kindness and compassion.

david and i had to put down our sweet calico, Heather, after 21 years of togetherness. she was my best friend, my confidant, my sweet baby. that was 18 years ago and the tears instantly well up when i think of her loss.

i hope max will soon saunter through your dreams and you will wake with a smile, knowing he is playing in doggy heaven, free from pain, and anticipating a happy reunion with his daddies.

much love to you and Joe and Milo and Kelly.

[Paul (host)]

Thank you all for these kind words.

They have made me cry, but this time there a small smile attached to the tears.

[Suzanne]

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. I've been there too many times and it never gets easier, but that is the one last act of love we can do for them. Just keep believing Max will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge!

[Kidnme]

I am so sorry, Paul. I had to put my cat to rest 8 years ago, and it was so, so hard. I hope it comforts you to know your sweet Max had a good life with you and Joe, with much love.

[M]

My thoughts are with you, Paul. I've had to say goodbye to two of my beloved pooches. As crazy as it might sound, I kept their ashes and I have one dog in my room and my daughter has the other. I'd go nuts without a K9 companion at home. Too still and silent around here without my girls.
Marissa

[Carol]

Dear Brother Paul and Joe:
I am thinking of you both. I am so sorry to hear about Max.